illo tempore mihi visum est

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( anime/manga/drama fandoms )

( RPF )

*I am told that it is a mark of growth as a writer if your old writings make you cringe. So that's a good sign, I suppose. Fics marked with WARNING: OLD were written in high school, and frankly are kind of awful, but the ones included here for some reason have sentimental value to me, such that I didn't want to leave them out. There are others that I'm pretending don't exist.

title: of every love that could have been
fandom: tennis rps
pairing: Roger Federer/Rafael Nadal, Rafael Nadal/Xisca Perello
rating: G
word count: 2300
summary: Rafa spends the evening before Christmas Eve with his sister and his girlfriend, thinks about his future and calls Roger to talk things through.
notes: this was a last-minute impulse fic for rilla_, which weirdly enough turned out better than the stuff that I've been planning for months. c'est la vie, I guess. thank you, t_lyrical, for reassuring me that I had probably not gone off the far end of bittersweet and ended up just plain bitter &hearts

( this is the sound of settling )

hello, dear writer! hopefully seeing my requests has not sent you screaming into the night, and you are as excited as I am about Yuletide 2009! I think I covered my individual requests pretty well already, so I thought I'd mention a little bit about what kind of stories I like best - though I guarantee pretty much anything with the characters I picked will make me ecstatic. =)

I like:

-happy endings. seriously, just make them all happy in the end or at least give me hope that they will eventually turn out okay at some point in the future, and I'm usually set. I'm all for angst and hurt/comfort, but I love all these characters too much to want them to be miserable for any extended period of time.

-affection between characters. you've probably noticed by now that I'm mostly into slash, but I like het and friendship/family gen as well; what's really important to me is the bonds, sexual, romantic or platonic, between characters. two guys who are madly in love? totally chill. an overprotective older brother worrying about his baby sister's first boyfriend? also totally chill. two best friends bantering or looking out for each other or just generally being quietly fond of each other? absolutely, completely chill.

-boys being boys. I picked all boys this time around (my inner feminist is already kicking me, don't worry), and I especially like to see them characterized as, well, typical males. (is that sexist? whoops.) I don't want them to be sobbing into their handkerchiefs or talking about their feelings or writing bad love poetry. (well, maybe Horace and Vergil.) I like it when boys are inarticulate and awkward about emotions and would infinitely rather have them tease each other and pull metaphorical pigtails than be sensitive. (within the bounds of characterization, of course, and the finer points are obviously at your discretion.)

-AUs! the crazier the better. are you suddenly struck with the mad desire to write the fic where Horace and Vergil are college freshmen who meet at a poetry reading, or Rafa Nadal is a porn star, or Laurence and Tharkay and Granby are astronauts or fairy princesses or ~cough~ tennis players? GO FOR IT. there is no alternate universe too wacky or cliche for me. (crossovers are great, too, just preferably confined within fandoms I actually know.)

I do not like:

-deathfic. no, really, don't kill anybody. I like these characters; I don't want them to die!

-girl-bashing. I am a girl. I don't want to read blanket statements about how girls suck, or the convenient villainization of women to get them out of the way of a slash relationship. (I wish I didn't have to say this, but... some things that I have read recently make me feel like I should mention it.) this doesn't really apply to Horace and Vergil, neither of whom was particularly involved with women (and if you want to do something with Vergil's apparent fear of girl-cooties, dear author, I am not in denial about his potential misogyny, nor do I want you to whitewash him), but please, please, please, if you write Temeraire, Jane is amazing and hardcore and way too good for Laurence, and if you write tennis, Xisca and Jelena are cute as buttons; I don't want them to be bad guys.

I'm going to copy over my requests, but this is just in case the original letter gets lost somehow; there's no new information. they were probably overly detailed to begin with. =)

Naomi Novik - Temeraire series
John Granby /Tharkay/William Laurence
slash would be awesome! any combination of the above would make me so unspeakably happy. (Granby is my favorite character, which is not to say that I don't love Tharkay/Laurence - I do! - but just that I would like Granby to make an appearance even if he isn't in the main pairing or trio.) if you don't want to go the slash route, wacky shenanigans, perhaps involving the dragons, would also delight me. all I ask is that they get a happy or at least hopeful ending. (no Jane-bashing, please. I love Jane.)

RPF - Classical history and literature
Horace/Virgil
this is my absurd academic OTP. I love them to distraction, and I believe with all the tin-hatted fervor at my disposal that they were totally in love. so pretty much anything about the two of them together will make me happy. (they don't have to be romantically in love if you're not comfortable with that; platonic mutual admiration and BFF-ness will do me fine.) poetical one-upmanship! road-trips with Maecenas! anxieties about the political situation! crazed AUs! late-night poetry readings! again, wacky shenanigans and happy endings are the way to my heart.

RPF - Tennis
Novak Djokovic/Rafael Nadal
anything about them being total dorks in love is a-ok by me. I love their posses, too, so side-characters (including Novak's coterie of lady-friends) are very welcome. play-station dates! watching football together! Novak's amusement at Rafa's terminal fashion FAIL! I like them best when they're being the twelve-year-olds they totally are inside, and tease each other relentlessly. (oh, and I also adore their girlfriends: if you're not seeing the slash, I am all for them as friends who double-date.)

RPF - Tennis
Feliciano Lopez/Rafael Nadal
one of the things I find most fascinating about Rafa is how he relates to the rest of the Spanish tennis players: he's so the spoiled baby of the family. they raised him right, though, and now he's such a good boy. I think his friendship with Feli is just darling; they really adore each other. I'd love anything about the two of them (and any other members of the Spanish Armada you see fit to include). if you would like a few potential starting points: ever-fabulous Feli mentoring young Rafa in fashion (or sex, or alcohol, or anything, really); Rafa being proud of Feli for helping bring home the Davis Cup in 2008; anything from when they were sharing a house at Wimbledon (subtlety: you're doing it wrong); anything from a Davis Cup tie they won together; or whatever else that strikes your fancy! I love slash (as you may have noticed) and I'd be happy with porn, but I'd also be so so so happy with friendship fic. I love them so much!

I really hope this was helpful! I've probably erred on the side of way way way too much information, but you're totally free to ignore me; I just always want to know more. if you have any questions (I can't imagine this is possible, but just in case) feel free to comment anonymously and I'll be happy to clarify anything! (seriously, brownie points if you've read this far; you are not at all obliged to pay attention to anything I have said.) I'm trying to put together manifesto posts for tennis RPS - here's Rafa/Feli; I'm still working on Rafa/Novak - in case you're curious. I never stop proselytizing, sorry! if you happen to have volunteered for tennis RPS, maybe it'll be useful, and if not, maybe I'll get you into a new fandom! I can always dream. =)

thank you so much for signing up to write for yuletide, Santa! I promise you, whatever you write will make me so happy. I love my teeny fandoms and all fic within them. I really just want you to have fun writing. if you need to ignore everything I've just said in order to do that - go for it! here's to making Yuletide gay!

it's the happiest time of year! and the presents are up relatively early. =)

ok, obviously I haven't read my way through the archive yet (I will!) but since I'm apparently too retarded to understand how to comment at AO3, I would just like to put it out there that my author is AMAZING and I hope her Yuletide is super extra fantabulous because she wrote me Rafa/Novak and it is glorious. they are total dorks who tease each other relentlessly! she included Novak's relationship with his brothers! there is Playstation! and lunch dates! and Rafa keeps getting them lost! there are references to Novak's glasses! and it is RAFA/NOVAK that was not written by ME and I am so so so happy. all of my tennis-y friends, go forth and read, for it will fill you with delight: Ferris Wheel Lights On.

(non-tennis friends, I will have other recommendations for you, too. but right now the archive hates me and I have been not sleeping much while I tried to get my treats done, so that will have to wait.)

(non-fandom friends, I love you too. and I checked my grades a few minutes ago, and I got an A in physics, and basically this day could not get better if it tried. and there will be presents later!)

happy yuletide, everybody!

yuletide assignment submitted. of course, ability to edit means I can keep futzing with it until the 24th, but... at least nominally, that's done. ~bites nails~

of course, now I really do need to do my Christmas shopping.

Rafa won, so I'm happy. David managed to gut it out in five sets and over four and a quarter hours, so I'm delighted. I'm not sure how good it is that tennis results can actually alter my mood, but I guess I was happy before they won too so it's not that big a difference. anyway, RAFA WON THE UNIVERSE IS RESTORED TO NORMALCY. tomorrow Feli and Fer will be gay at each other play doubles and all will be well.

not thinking about thesis!

Rafa, why don't you want me to be happy? goddammit. I am not pleased with you. (I bet Nole isn't pleased with you either. ignoring him to giggle incessantly with Fed. I want the clay court season back.)

also my thesis persists in not writing itself. why can I never have nice things?

I don't even know what I'm doing with my thesis right now. I kind of think I need a plan of attack, but since my plan of what I want to write changes based on what I read each week, I... don't know what I'm going to be reading from week to week. and thus I am a mess. hopefully I will manage to magic myself out of this sometime soon, but until then... who knows! (I have totally wasted my entire day off. I have no one to blame but myself.)

in other news, Rafa dug himself into a hole and then just barely managed to dig himself out - I watched the scores until he lost the first set and went down a break, went to take a shower so he could lose without me, came back and he'd gotten the break back, went to eat breakfast, came back and he was down several match points, watched him break back and went to do some thesis reading, came back and he'd won the tiebreak but was down a break again, at which point I flung my hands in the air and cussed him out a little. and then magically he managed to break Nico when he served for the set (for the second time), hold serve, break and serve it out. FIVE MATCH POINTS. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, RAFA. I KNOW YOU'RE COMPETING WITH NOLE BUT THAT IS NOT A COMPETITION YOU WANT TO BE WINNING. (feel free to proceed to win the tournament like Nole did, though. that's an acceptable action to emulate.)

and then Federer managed to lose to Julien Bennetteau in a match I was sort of vaguely keeping an eye on, thinking, oh, he managed to hold serve, that's cute! oh, he managed to get it to a tiebreak, that's cute! oh, he won the tiebreak, that's cute! aww, he's up a break in the third on Fed, that's adorable! ...and then I went to dinner and apparently Fed never broke back. and then I laughed.

oh, and Marat Safin retired. the ladies mourn, but their panties are at last freed from the oppressive threat of spontaneous combustion. exciting happenings in Paris!

Rafa and Feli. what to say. they are almost tour BFFs (Rafa will inevitably list his best friends on tour as Carlos Moya and Feli, in that order; Feli will inevitably list Fernando Verdasco and Rafa, in that order) and they have known each other for ages, since Rafa was a baby-faced teenager with a really, really obvious case of hero-worship for Carlos Moya (he soon graduated to an epic crush on Roger Federer). Feli is five years older than Rafa, so obviously there was a bit of a change in dynamics as Rafa grew up and started winning everything in sight - Rafa is currently ranked #2 in the world, Feli is hovering somewhere in the forties - but their friendship seems to have withstood any tension; Feli is really proud of Rafa and Rafa adores Feli. when Rafa won the last match in the Davis Cup tie against Serbia and went straight to Feli for a nice long clingy hug... oh my heart.

some ridiculously adorable YouTube clips of the two of them:

Feli and baby Rafa go shopping!


Feli and Rafa play doubles!


Feli and Rafa talk on the phone after Feli helps Spain win the Davis Cup! (I can't speak Spanish but I am told by reliable sources that what they say is basically, "I wish I was there," "Me too, kisses to you," which... ADORABLE.)


Feli wrote Rafa a SONG. about HOW AWESOME HE IS AT TENNIS. and MADE THEIR TEAMMATES JUMP UP AND DOWN AND SING IT TO HIM. I don't think epic BFFness quite covers it.


here are some picspams by morebliss which are relevant to my interests: Feli and Rafa, Feliciano: friends and lovers, Davis Cup, and Feli and the Armada.

some fic: I'd Do Anything To Catch You Falling by buckle_berry, Ready For a Fall by louiselux, and, uh, You Can Do Better Than Me (I Can't Do Better Than You) by me (I'm sorry! there's really not a lot of Rafa/Feli out there!), to get you started - they're all pretty pornographic, just a heads-up.

as an afterthought sort of note: Rafa/Feli is definitely not the most obvious pairing for either character. Feli and Fernando Verdasco are kind of impressively gay for each other and Rafa is really terrible at hiding his crush on Roger Federer. but I still think they're super cute, whether as a couple or just friends! they're totally the kind of buddies who sit around in their underwear playing videogames with each other - whether winner gets a blowjob is really just a matter of degree. =D

friends! Romans! countrywomen! you're signing up for yuletide, right? because you totally should. it's the most awesome seasonal fic-exchange imaginable, and it's great for those obscure book-fandoms where you want fic but nobody ever seems to be writing it.

I've been contemplating what I want to ask for, and I think I have it narrowed down to four requests. I'm not sure, though, because... well, you'll see.

Naomi Novik - Temeraire series
William Laurence/John Granby/Tharkay
slash would be awesome! any combination of the above would make me so unspeakably happy. (Granby is my favorite character, which is not to say that I don't love Tharkay/Laurence - I do! - but just that I would like Granby to make an appearance even if he isn't in the main pairing or trio.) if you don't want to go the slash route, wacky shenanigans, perhaps involving the dragons, would also delight me. all I ask is that they get a happy or at least hopeful ending. (no Jane-bashing, please. I love Jane.)

RPF - Classical history and literature
Virgil/Horace
this is my absurd academic OTP. I love them to distraction, and I believe with all the tin-hatted fervor at my disposal that they were totally in love. so pretty much anything about the two of them together will make me happy. (they don't have to be romantically in love if you're not comfortable with that; platonic mutual admiration and BFF-ness will do me fine.) poetical one-upmanship! road-trips with Maecenas! anxieties about the political situation! crazed AUs! late-night poetry readings! again, wacky shenanigans and happy endings are the way to my heart.

RPF - tennis
Rafael Nadal/Novak Djokovic
anything about them being total dorks in love is a-ok by me. I love their posses, too, so side-characters (including Novak's coterie of lady-friends) are very welcome. play-station dates! watching football together! Novak's amusement at Rafa's terminal fashion FAIL! I like them best when they're being the twelve-year-olds they totally are inside, and tease each other relentlessly. (oh, and I also adore their girlfriends: if you're not seeing the slash, I am all for them as friends who double-date.)

RPF - tennis
Rafael Nadal/Feliciano Lopez
one of the things I find most fascinating about Rafa is how he relates to the rest of the Spanish tennis players: he's so the spoiled baby of the family. they raised him right, though, and now he's such a good boy. I think his friendship with Feli is just darling; they really adore each other. I'd love anything about the two of them (and any other members of the Spanish Armada you see fit to include). if you would like a few potential starting points: ever-fabulous Feli mentoring young Rafa in fashion (or sex, or alcohol, or anything, really); Rafa being proud of Feli for helping bring home the Davis Cup in 2008; anything from when they were sharing a house at Wimbledon (subtlety: you're doing it wrong); anything from a Davis Cup tie they won together; or anything else that strikes your fancy! I love slash (as you may have noticed) and I'd be happy with porn, but I'd also be so so so happy with friendship fic. I love them so much!

so I'm not sure if it's fair to request two prompts in the same tiny fandom, but I want them! idk...