well, male characters definitely get forgiven for more (sarahtales was right, Harriet Potter would be the most annoying character on the planet, though I'm not crazy about Harry either), and at least in my case I worry about imposing myself on female characters too much. but on the other hand I also worry about making male characters too feminine (by which I mean: able to communicate and concerned about hurting each other's feelings), so there's no easy solution. woe. (yeah, Sarah Tales used to be Mistful, who was Maya in HP fandom. since she got published she took her fic down.)

I guess it depends on the situation? I mean, if you're writing an utterly contextless pornlet, then going into the guilt in depth is going to take away from the point of the story, which is hot sexings. and there are some fics where it's more apropos to gloss over stuff than others. I mean, the ATP is an almost all-male environment, and I could accept that some players compartmentalize "my girlfriend is here so I am with her" and "my girlfriend is at home and I am on tour so I can do whatever I want" and feel very little guilt over that. I mean, I still think it's a dickish thing to do, but you know what I mean.

(you keep hinting about your bigbang! ~grabby hands~ I am excited.)