Just to confirm that I am just as suggestible as you think, and because this entire fic was basically your idea in the first place, here is the David Villa and Pepe Reina double-teaming Fernando Torres fic I've been promising to write.

I swear to God, at some point in my life, I had shame. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pair Theo Walcott with yet another one of his teammates. No lie, that boy is like the perfect pair of heels--he goes with everything.