existential crisis!!!

[meretricula]

seriously, have you ever had a moment like you've suddenly realized you're in the Matrix? good god. I was reading all these really ancient and very detailed wank reports on Cassie Claire's circle back in the day and had the sudden horrific thought... what if I'm a troll too?

...you guys would tell me if I were a troll, right? I know I don't always remember to be nice. and I was kind of a bitch over the fbkink thing. and I say awful things sometimes without really thinking about it. and got told by a Canadian yesterday that I'm embarrassing to be seen with because I swear too much, so it's not even just an online thing.

but if I'm being awful please just tell me, okay? I don't want to be a troll.

fandom is scary sometimes.

(PS: good god cornerflag why must you be so difficult to write.)

Comments

[mardia.livejournal.com]

Heh, I don't think you're a troll. I think you're not at all worried about sharing your opinions, whatever they might be, but that doesn't necessarily translate to "troll".

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

the thing is, I really do worry a lot about sharing my opinions. I just have terminal foot-in-mouth disease. =/

[mardia.livejournal.com]

As someone who like, either keeps her mouth shut unless she's in chat or so worked up that it ends up in like ~5,000 word essays on Livejournal (just look at my last post!) I totally feel you there.

But generally, I think if you're being honest and not disrespectful, then that's fine. People disagree, that's how we have discussions in the first place.

And I had to laugh at your earlier comment about Cassie Claire--I read the entry about whatshername, Miss Scribe? And Cassie Claire and oh my God, HP fandom, thank fuck I stayed on the fringes when I was just a bb!fangirl and stuck to writing crappy fic and reading less-crappy fic, because I'm fairly sure it would have WARPED MY HEAD.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

we all just have a lot of ~feelings! I always feel like sports fandom must be extra-wanky because we all support different teams or players, but then I realize that we don't actually have ship wars. so we're doing pretty well.

oh god, no kidding. at least I wasn't wading into those waters on my own. all my circle of RL friends got into HP fanfic at the same time. I might have gotten to slash earliest, though. ~ponders~ but I totally remember reading the Draco series as a group experience. I am so glad that I wasn't actively participating in fandom much yet. wankiest fandom ever to wank, I think...

[tinymich.livejournal.com]

I remember the msscribe drama! :-( I was pretty sad the way it all went down. I actually liked Dionne as a person. I definitely wasn't Close with any of them, you know the way the inner circle all seemed to be, but leaving fic entirely aside, Dionne's non-HP posts about her husband and daughters were both sweet and HILARIOUS. I am still sad they are all gone, and that she vanished from the internet; I would love to hear how everyone's doing.

But yes. Internet wankery.

[tinymich.livejournal.com]

And yes, thank GOD we do not have ship wars. If I do not want to read e.g. Pep/Andres or Puyol/Marchena fic (which, NO I DO NOT WANT TO, TYVM), I simply do not read it. There's no calling people "delusional", and then people getting upset for being called delusional when it's just a matter of textual interpretation, and aaargh. The Good Ship OBHWF indeed -- my boyfriend refers to it, actually, as OBHWTF. Which is on point.

(Sorry. I and everyone I know IRL believe that JKR, entirely without intending to, pretty clearly wrote a Harry/Hermione subtext into the first 4 books. But regardless! There was no reason for everyone, on EITHER side, to get so ANGRY about it!)