meretricula | (no subject)

school and work have been eating up all my time lately and that is why I haven't been posting! though it never seems like it's been all that long to me, and then I realize I haven't updated in over a month. so yeah. still ticking along, just quiet on the livejournal front!

YULETIDE. it's almost time for the best season of the year to start! what is everybody nominating? I have predictably started trying to organize the sports people, because that is what I do. I'm going for Olympics RPF, She's The Man and am wavering between Bend It Like Beckham (HOW AM I THE ONLY PERSON THINKING OF NOMINATING THIS? SERIOUSLY???) and Tennis RPF because I really want that Chrissie/Martina fic. but if nobody nominates Bend It Like Beckham I may have to abandon classic tennis for this year. :(

Amanda Palmer and Mumford & Sons both have new albums out! they're pretty ace, you should check them out.

missmollyetc filled a Baby Dream Team prompt for me over on

touchline and it's awesome! go read: The Same Last Dream Again.

anybody want to play with memes? late to the party, I know. (seen this from a bunch of people but most recently

aramley.)

Pick a trope from this list and provide a fandom/pairing and I’ll tell you something about the story I’d write for that combination!

1. genderswap
2. bodyswap
3. drunk!fic
4. huddling for warmth
5. pretending to be married
6. secretly a virgin
7. amnesia
8. cross-dressing
9. forced to share a bed
10. truth or dare
11. historical AU
12. accidental-baby-acquisition
13. apocalypse fic
14. telepathy
15. High School / College AU

PS: PIQUE AND SHAKIRA ARE HAVING A BABY!!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

BABY PIQUE

BABY PIQUE AND ALSO BABY MESSI THEY ARE GOING TO GROW UP TOGETHER. CESC MISSED THE BOAT HE IS NOT READY FOR A CHILD. Idk if Pique is ready for a child tbh but oh lord, baby pique. baby shakira. I'm SO ENDEEEAAARRED. *flail*

Also, right, so, so... I... explain yuletide right, I don't get it. I get that you nominate rare fandoms I guess? Then what?

As for the tropes, I spent a long time amusing myself with various combinations, but talk to me about Iker and his male-hareem and number 2 because there is no way that can not end spectacularly.

I could go and find out how yuletide works on my own but I am that lazy. feel free to tell me to bugger off.

have not got to you yet as far as meme responses go but:

yuletide! it is a rare fandom fic exchange with a very large participant pool. right now is the brainstorming stage, where everybody gets excited about their fandoms and tries to lure new people into them. next is nominations, when anybody who is going to participate can nominate up to four characters in each of up to three fandoms. the resulting list of fandoms will be weeded for not-actually-rare interlopers (a process that causes much wank and stress) and then the remaining list, and all characters that were nominated for them, are the pool that is used for requests/offers. each participant asks for up to four characters in four fandoms from the list and offers some number of characters in some number of fandoms (I honestly can't remember exactly) as well. each person is then matched to a request that falls within what they offered to write, writes a fic of at least 1000 words and uploads it before deadline! (and then, optional, proceeds to write fic for other requests.) on Christmas Day, everybody gets their gift fic(s) and there is an orgy of reading, commenting and reccing! it's the best season of the year. :)

I have been trying and trying to think of any way to write Iker's harem that is not DEPRESSING AS FUCK now that they've basically all left him for pastures new, and it has finally come to me! everybody except Iker gets bodyswapped, right, so Thiago wakes up in David Lopez's body in Brighton, which would appeal to his hipster DNA except for how he doesn't speak English and has no clue what is going on and thus it is just terrifying, David Lopez wakes up in Manchester and you'd think he'd be better off because at least he's still in the same country, right? WRONG, BECAUSE DAVID LOPEZ IS NOT A GOALKEEPER. David De Gea is somehow in Ibai Gomez's place and he doesn't even really know Ibai so this is pretty awkward seeing the contents of his underwear drawer and all, poor Ibai is in motherfucking Germany and Javi's girlfriend doesn't believe him when he tries to tell her what happened, Javi is back in Bilbao which is really awkward, and Ander wakes up snuggled up with Rafinha and doesn't even get to "wait this isn't where I went to sleep, what just happened?" before he hits OH FUCK I'M IN BED WITH THIAGO'S BABY BROTHER THIAGO IS GOING TO MURDER ME I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE. but being Ander Herrera he maintains enough presence of mind to, wait for it, call his own cell phone, and once he gets in touch with Javi they manage to trace the circle of bodyswapping all the way back to Thiago in Brighton. (who by this time has recovered from his panic attack and is off taking Instagram photos along the boardwalk, because he is Thiago and a filthy hipster.) one very confusing conference call later they have reached the conclusion that the only thing they all have in common is Iker's dick, and dispatch De Gea and Javi (in Ibai and Ander's bodies) to retrieve their erstwhile sometime lover and find out what the hell he's done.

(I believe what he's done is somehow to get Fernando Amorebieta to grant a poorly-phrased wish about getting the people who've left him to come back, because I like to imagine Amore as a secret Venezuelan wizard. obviously the way to break the spell is for them all to have sex. while Amore is watching, because he's a pervert.)

TADA. a non-depressing bodyswap story about Iker's harem!

I shouldn't be surprised that you went to the depressing place first since that is what I am constantly doing with iker, but I'm so glad that you found the happy crack place instead <3 this is hilarious and perfectly formed and I love it and will cherish it <3