you know what would be TOTALLY AWESOME?

a slash AU of the triumviral/Augustan period of Roman history, set at a state university in one of the many towns named Rome in the continental USA. Octavian and Antony are leaders of dueling frats! Maecenas is the rich ROTC kid who is also improbably into beat poetry, and his roommate Agrippa thinks reading is for pussies but doesn't say so because he needs Maecenas to correct the spelling on his papers! Vergil and Horace are dorks in love who meet at a poetry reading and stammer their way through confessions of how much they like each other's work! (omg, Vergil the shy poetry nerd. OH MY HEART I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS.) Vergil is BFFs with Maecenas! Horace is a scholarship kid who works twenty hours a week in the admissions office to pay for his rent and textbooks! Cleopatra is a sexy foreign exchange student! The battle of Actium is an inter-mural crew race!

...my brain is a seriously scary place sometimes. that said, I dare you to tell me that this idea is not AWESOMECAKES DRENCHED IN AWESOMESAUCE. go ahead. try. your arguments will be fallacious and WRONG.

also, I am nearing the completion of my emendation of Twilight. I am pleased.