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catalogue of wishes
Jul. 6th, 2009 03:56 pmTop 10 Tennis Wishes For the Remaining Year
1) Rafa's knees get better. 'nuff said.
2) Rafa and Dina win US Open, hug onstage. levels of cuteness heretofore unknown to man are reached, threaten to destroy NYC in explosion of hearts and rainbows.
3) Svetlana Kuznetsova and Amelie Mauresmo play doubles, fall in love. (yes, with each other.)
4) Jamie Murray and Jelena Jankovic reunite to play doubles, face off with Marat Safin and Dinara Safina in the final. levels of sexy heretofore unknown to man are reached, threaten to destroy NYC in explosion of hormones and burning panties.
5) Fernando Verdasco defeats a series of players including Davydenko, Safin & Murray en route to a collision with Rafael Nadal, credits success to burning desire to avenge the virtue of Feliciano Lopez.
6) BabyFed is a girl. Mirka makes Fed change diapers.
7) Fernando Verdasco stops slutting it up with WTA, settles down with his boyfriend. Feliciano Lopez stops slutting it up with the ATP, settles down with his boyfriend. (ancillary wish: Feli tells Nando he refuses to be seen with him in public unless he stops gelling his hair.)
8) Andy Roddick and Novak Djokovic get into a bitchfight over whether Federer or Nadal is a worthier No. 1. entire debate is preserved by the media and available for public consumption.
9) Nole invites Rafa and Xisca to come chill with him and Jelena in Monte Carlo for a week. double dates ensue. Jelena and Xisca become BFF.
10) Marat retires, becomes Mirka 2.0 in Dinara's entourage, complete with oversized sunglasses and crackberry. Dinara blossoms under light of crazy-eyed yet unconditional love.
this post is a reaction to Wimbledon 2009. fuck you, tennis. fuck you for making me care.
1) Rafa's knees get better. 'nuff said.
2) Rafa and Dina win US Open, hug onstage. levels of cuteness heretofore unknown to man are reached, threaten to destroy NYC in explosion of hearts and rainbows.
3) Svetlana Kuznetsova and Amelie Mauresmo play doubles, fall in love. (yes, with each other.)
4) Jamie Murray and Jelena Jankovic reunite to play doubles, face off with Marat Safin and Dinara Safina in the final. levels of sexy heretofore unknown to man are reached, threaten to destroy NYC in explosion of hormones and burning panties.
5) Fernando Verdasco defeats a series of players including Davydenko, Safin & Murray en route to a collision with Rafael Nadal, credits success to burning desire to avenge the virtue of Feliciano Lopez.
6) BabyFed is a girl. Mirka makes Fed change diapers.
7) Fernando Verdasco stops slutting it up with WTA, settles down with his boyfriend. Feliciano Lopez stops slutting it up with the ATP, settles down with his boyfriend. (ancillary wish: Feli tells Nando he refuses to be seen with him in public unless he stops gelling his hair.)
8) Andy Roddick and Novak Djokovic get into a bitchfight over whether Federer or Nadal is a worthier No. 1. entire debate is preserved by the media and available for public consumption.
9) Nole invites Rafa and Xisca to come chill with him and Jelena in Monte Carlo for a week. double dates ensue. Jelena and Xisca become BFF.
10) Marat retires, becomes Mirka 2.0 in Dinara's entourage, complete with oversized sunglasses and crackberry. Dinara blossoms under light of crazy-eyed yet unconditional love.
this post is a reaction to Wimbledon 2009. fuck you, tennis. fuck you for making me care.
