and I thought I was going to be writing an essay.

[meretricula]

OMG BARÇA I LOVE YOU.

5-0. but mostly because Cristiano Ronaldo shoves Pep and the entire team storms up to defend their coach. led by Miniesta himself, who has to look up seven inches to see the top of Cristiano's hair, not that he lets that stop him. (with Victor only a little behind because he had to run all the way from his goal to the sideline. Pique had to drag him away.) children, he doesn't need you to protect him, but it's beyond sweet that you want to.

I swear to god I am writing this paper, but the inspiration would not leave me, so here, have (probably) the only Sernando fic I will ever write:


sent by: Fernando Torres at 23:11 29/11/10
5-0 JAJAJAJAJAJA

sent by: Sergio Ramos at 23:14 29/11/10
u r the worst boyfriend ever

sent by: Fernando Torres at 23:23 29/11/10
LOL SUCK IT MERENGUE SCUM

sent by: Fernando Torres at 23:24 29/11/10
also pepe says hi and JAJAJA YOU SUCK 5-0 5-0 5-00000000000

sent by: Sergio Ramos at 23:36 29/11/10
i hate u and ur never getting laid again


just to make it clear, because I saw someone on Tumblr speculating that Fernando was probably cheering for Sergio: FERNANDO TORRES HATES REAL MADRID. I can guarantee you that the Clasico is the one match that every Atleti fan wants Barcelona to win. any excuse to post this clip:

note what he says at 0:24. XDD FERNANDO ILU. going to go write this essay now, and wish I were watching a replay of the Clasico with Fernando and Pepe instead. AHHH IT WOULD BE SO EPIC.

Comments

[mardia.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS THE MOST DELIGHTFUL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. Also, lol forever at people thinking Fernando Torres would ever ever root for Real Madrid. If there's one time that he's going to root for Barca, it's here.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

Sernando shippers just don't understand the depths of his hatred~! lol no seriously he's been Atleti since he was born, guys, it ain't gonna happen. XD VISCA EL BARÇAAAAA I AM STILL DANCING IN MY SEAT THANK GOD NOBODY ELSE IS AWAKE.

[mardia.livejournal.com]

You should have seen me in chat, I was basically screaming my head off to Lya. INSANE.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

BUT SO VERY MUCH WORTH IT.

[eileenyx.livejournal.com]

OMFG!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ T'estimo, Barça.

To be fair, Pep was being kind of a jerk by hesitating to give up the ball to Crispy, so the pushing's somewhat understandable? What's utterly ridiculous (but still kinda LOLtastic -- I'm sorry, Puyi) is Sergio's hissy fit at the very end of injury time. And I say that as a Sergio fangirl. SMH yet at the same time, I ain't even mad.

I saw someone on Tumblr speculating that Fernando was probably cheering for Sergio... Uh, really? :S

...the only Sernando fic I will ever write... Really? How come? Do they not ~appeal to you as a pairing? Just curious. :D

REAL MADRID'S DEFENSE STRETCHED OUT LIKE SPANDEX

[mardia.livejournal.com]

Okay, the English commentary on Villa's second goal in this clip CANNOT BE MISSED:



AHAHAHAHA STRETCHED OUT LIKE SPANDEX INDEED.

Re: REAL MADRID'S DEFENSE STRETCHED OUT LIKE SPANDEX

[mardia.livejournal.com]

ugh, okay, the embedding doesn't work, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMd_T8Cm2v4&

Re: REAL MADRID'S DEFENSE STRETCHED OUT LIKE SPANDEX

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

RAY HUDSON HOW ARE YOU SO EPIC

so much bitchfacing going on. don't even know where to look. IT'S LIKE PLAYING POKER WITH A WITCH. YOU'RE GONNA LOSE.

[tabacoychanel.livejournal.com]

@TorresAkaElNino is such ridiculous closet cule that i asked him who he supports when atletico plays barca and he said atleti ajajajajaja

the only Sernando fic I will ever write
que bueno since dagger/nando is where it's at. j/k i lol'd at "i hate u and ur never getting laid again"


my love for pep guardiola could legitimately cure cancer and stop wars

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha oh man the whole thing was just... what even. kids, Pep can get himself out of his own shit. it's like the argument with the Copenhagen coach where Biscuits comes running up all DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY DADDY I KILL YOU and Pep is like settle down son I can handle it. I love it all. unnecessary and not particularly classy but any expression of the devotion that team has for their coach, I will take it and beg for more. (oh god especially Miniesta. their love is the stuff of which [slightly creepy, considering they met when Andres was 12] ballads are made. and Andres trying to threaten Cristiano is just... sweetie, he's half a foot bigger than you. if you get into a fistfight you're going to lose.)

Sergio's thing, I mean, he was mad, it happens. Puyi's over it already. I'm more angry about the tackle. YOU DO NOT HURT MY BB MESSI. so long as Leo's okay I ain't mad either.

(haha yeah really, my face looked like this: >_>)

oh, I mean, I have this whole thing about Sernando, there's basically no canon evidence that they're even particularly good friends right now (they did apparently have a closer relationship when Fernando was at Atletico but guys it's been years since he moved to England and he is now married with kids it is time to move on), Fernando is way closer to Pepe and by extension David Villa but fandom ignores that because it wants to ship the ~pretty people and it pisses me off. like, okay, Fernando REALLY DOES have a monster crush on Steven Gerrard and will talk at length about how amazing he is given half an opportunity. if you really want to slash him, slash him with Stevie! it would be really plausible! as far as Sernando goes, suggestive training photos from 2008 do not actually an OTP make. /rant haha sorry I have a lot of ~feelings about shipping people for aesthetic reasons rather than canon evidence. (plus a lot of Sernando fic really sucks, let's not kid ourselves, if one of my favorite authors wrote it I would eat it up with a spoon.)

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

dagger/nando is where it's at
it is good you j/k'ed after that because otherwise we would have had to have a ~conversation XD

YOU AND ME BOTH. ♥♥♥

crying tears of joy rn

[tabacoychanel.livejournal.com]

HDU

what do you have against dagger

[eileenyx.livejournal.com]

OMG HAHAHA @ SOLBAKKEN AND HIS ~NORWEGIAN SENSE OF HUMOUR~. Like, Busi, I love you, but what can you really do? Fall on the ground and flail? You've probably seen the clips from a previous El Clásico (IDK the details, okay?) in which Iniesta is telling Cristiano "callate" and shushing him. I LOVE YOU, BARFA.

Don't be sorry about your rant because I totally enjoyed it! I spend an unhealthy amount of time ~pondering my choices of OTPs. I admit that I got into Sernando because of the World Cup (typical, I know) and that awesome ass-patting GIF in the tunnel. And yeah, the overwhelming prettiness (I'm not proud). I think I'll always have a soft spot for Sernando because the pairing is my gateway drug to the fandom. Still, I see what you mean, and I'm a recent convert to the Gernando pairing because of the relative ~plausibility.

I've read a handful of good Sernando fics, IDK. I think it's harder to find really good Gernando fics. Blather ends here. Thank you for your time. :D

[eileenyx.livejournal.com]

Hello, you don't know me, but I'm butting in to say that I have no shame in loving the completely fictional and baseless Dagger/Nando pairing.

my love for pep guardiola could legitimately cure cancer and stop wars HAHAHAHA :D

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha yeah Ronaldo accused Iniesta of diving and Iniesta actually got up in his face all STFU BITCH. (to be fair, I think anyone accused of diving by Cristiano Ronaldo would do that, even if they were guilty. which Iniesta was not.)

well I do always seem to pick the least inhabited corner of whatever fandom I'm in and set up shop there haha. there is a TON of Sernando fic, some of which is okay, one or two of which are actually quite good. but the quality to quantity ratio is not good if you know what I mean XD. it's harder to find any Gernando fic (I don't really ship it all that much so I don't go out of my way to look, I would kill something for Pepe/Fernando fic instead but it just doesn't exist) but there are a few really good ones! (by which I mean... four. of which two are threesomes with Xabi Alonso. eh, win some, lose some.)

no worries, we are very into blather on this blog!

Re: crying tears of joy rn

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha I was not aware you were a fan of the Danish cutie~ lol no he's okay I'm just not in love with him like half the LFC fanbase. and I see no real reason to ship him with Nando w/e w/e I do what I want~ (FERNANDO/PEPE FIC. WHY DOES NOBODY WRITE IT. THEY LIVE NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER.)

Re: crying tears of joy rn

[tabacoychanel.livejournal.com]

I DUNNO ABOUT THE REST OF THEM BUT CLEARLY I AM TOO BUSY WRITING YOU BOJAN/EVERYBODY GANGBANG

also i translated that crackovia episode you asked for and put it up

ok but seriously, somebody explain to me how gerard pique finished that game without getting booked? i thought it was "i whip my cards back and forth day"????

[tabacoychanel.livejournal.com]

i dun really ship them but if you have fic recs i would be

[eileenyx.livejournal.com]

there is a TON of Sernando fic, some of which is okay, one or two of which are actually quite good.

it's harder to find any Gernando fic...but there are a few really good ones!

Are these listed on your rec list???

As for Pepe/Fernando, I'm completely unimaginative and I guess fanon has a way of getting into my head, but he's so excellent as voice of reason/comic relief/no-BS ally/instigator that I overlook the sexy and the "slashability". Which is a shame. I read a Pepe/Carra fic and a Pepe/Sergio one and I liked them?

[eileenyx.livejournal.com]

HAHA, at first I was like, "People ship them?" o_0 But some of the writing's pretty damn enjoyable, and I'm easily amused like that.

Excuse me while I stare at that GIF forever. Thank you.

LOL, I hesitate with recs because if I ~endorse a fic and the fic ends up being disliked/hated, it's all awkward. But, uh, what have you read?

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

yup yup! I would not hold out on you. :)

I know, but the unexpected factor would just make it that much hotter. nnngh I feel like I'm getting more perverted the longer I stay in this fandom, at first I was determined that the love between David Villa and Pepe was purely platonic but I would read the shit out of them double-teaming pretty much anyone in La Roja. (especially Fernando. or bb Silva.) haha I think I've read the Pepe/Sergio one. also a Pepe/Silva one once I think. why oh why were they not better-written, THE CONCEPT IS SO FUCKING HOT. XD

Re: crying tears of joy rn

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

I APPROVE OF THIS ALTERNATE USE OF YOUR TIME.

yes yes I saw! oh god did I not comment. I had it open in a tab. I was wondering if I should edit the translation into my tumblr post. did I seriously not comment I am such a fail. THANK YOU BB IT WAS GLORIOUS.

haha I know but he was being the voice of reason~ for most of the game! I think because he's the only person in Barça who actually likes Cristiano so he feels obligated to kind of keep things from going nuclear when the Gelled One steps onto the pitch.

[tabacoychanel.livejournal.com]

um i don't bookmark everything i read and i honestly haven't gone hunting for dan/nando

so it's not like i've read loads but here here

it's ok i won't ~judge or anything

[eileenyx.livejournal.com]

I'mma bookmark your rec list and stalk it, man.

Ahh, the callous brutality + the pretty in that double-team/gangbang scenario. So hot. And OMG, I ♥ the special David Villa section on your rec list.

Re: crying tears of joy rn

[tabacoychanel.livejournal.com]

FUTURE CAPTAIN MATERIAL THRU HERRRRRRRRRRRRRR (BOJAN FOR VICE-CAPTAIN Y/MOTHERFUCKINGYYYYYY)

lol it's ok don't worry about it bb essay writing takes precedence!!!!