a post that should probably be written at some other time

[meretricula]

soooo... footballkink. lovely place, right up until you de-anon to post a picture and get the mother of all wankfests dumped on your head over the "spirit of the anon meme". but on the other hand, it is not like I want to prompt anything that's likely to get filled over there, so. having been oh-so-politely invited to get the fuck out of their sandbox with my rudely exhibitionist ways, I guess I can freely oblige? (my non-anon prompt was a thing of fucking beauty. it had links and visual aids and everything. html coding went into that thing! hmph.)

but! I kind of like just making prompts, even without the possibility of their ever getting filled. does anybody else get that? it's probably related to the fact that I love movie trailers. seriously if somebody makes me too late to a movie to watch the previews I will be pissed enough to shank a bitch.

so I've made this post, and I'm kind of too busy finishing my essays right now to do much with it, but it's going to be where I put the prompts that I would like to write or read, and if you would like to post a prompt too, feel free! I'm probably not going to write any of them, but I guess you never know. (this is a lie. I probably will end up writing Alcantara brothers fic. I can feel these things, and they never end well.) and it definitely doesn't have to be football or whatever. any fandom you like, kinky or really kinky or not at all, nobody's judging. I mean, preferably pick a fandom I'm familiar with so I can appreciate what a brilliant prompt it is, but hey. for instance:

Rafa/Nole fic in which they are footballers! Rafa is the home-grown captain of his team, Nole is the new star transfer. Rafa has to either help him settle in or show him who's boss. or both! possibly up against a locker.

David Silva/Mario Balotelli fic in which Silva accidentally reveals the fact that he's totally a scheming mastermind with huge ambitions underneath the sweet facade to Mario and then ends up with Mario following him around like an oversized puppy because he's so desperately in love with Silva's bitchiness. awkwardly bilingual banter (did you know Silva speaks some Italian? you do now) and topping from the bottom very welcome!

has anybody else seen Paris Je T'Aime? well, anyway, awkward curly-haired boy and girl in the headscarf. give me cross-cultural awkwardness. and kissing. and possibly her having to tell him what to do in bed.

I've really got to finish this paper, but I'll add more in the comments in the post itself, apparently, when I can! run wild, my children!

I have been a very good girl this year, Santa. can I get some Zlatan/Leo porn focusing on the truly ridiculous height difference between them? and, you know, if you wanted to get something in there about how fucking enormous Zlatan's hands are. or Leo climbing that man-mountain for purposes more sexual than goal celebrations. that would be okay. (muchas gracias to vlieger for reminding me how fucking much I want this, nnngh.)


(his hand is the size of Leo's head. look! I can't be the only one who finds that hot.)




(I would also be okay with non-porn that was more Zlatan, like, following Leo around and getting things down from high shelves for him. in a sort of dickish way, because Zlatan can't just be nice about things. but Leo makes everybody want to cuddle!)


come to papa...


(crackfic about Zlatan being the daddy of Barcelona would be fine by me too.)

I am just going to repost the offending prompt because I WANT IT and god knows I'll never get it now, ffffffffff. so! I have been yearning like mad for fic about the Alcantara brothers (with or without "honorary Alcantara" Jonathan dos Santos). who are they, you ask? only the most adorable thing to come out of La Masia since Lionel Messi. (err that means they're Barça B players btw.) the other day was a very special occasion for them, because Rafinha just had his 18th birthday! and of course his loving big brother Thiago had been giving due consideration to how to mark this extra-special day.

btw I am not making any of this up, Thiago's twitter is like a love letter to Rafinha right now and he posted a few days ago asking for suggestions on what to do for his birthday. <333 ANYWAY.

can I get some Alcantaras up in here? incesty birthday celebrations, angsty pining, locker-room shenanigans after Barça B won their game yesterday or just Thiago being ridiculously overprotective of his baby bro, it's all good. bonus points if you can work Jona in there! after all, he is their third musketeer. and for extra inspiration:



Thiago is a lot stronger than he looks. I am just saying.

so Athletic Bilbao-Valencia featured some nasty collisions, Valencia's David Navarro is pretty conclusively lying, cheating scum, and both Fernando Llorente and Javi Martinez ended up bleeding before the end of the match. which they lost. hurt/comfort please? (match report with sassy quotes from Fernando here)

Swingers Club de Barcelona! Shakira and Puyol fondly observing their snatched-from-the-cradle significant others on a playdate (concert, party, idk, product launch? mostly interested in Puyi and Shaki hanging out being "old people" together while Malena and Pique enjoy being young and energetic). can be sexual or not, your choice. preferably not in a creepy way, though. (any and all permutations of the four of them are okay by me! doesn't have to be just two.)

David Villa and Pepe Reina are the bestest of bros. would love to see them uniting to show somebody a really awesome time in bed. (mardia already did this one with Fernando Torres, but I'm greedy! David Silva? Iniesta? I'm open to suggestions if you can convince me but no Llorente please. in my brain he is their child.) or, um. if somebody really wanted to make me happy... Goldilocks and the Three Bears, with more porn. Pepe is Papa Bear, Villa is Mama Bear, Llorente is the baby. Torres is Goldilocks, naturally.

Victor Valdes and Pepe Reina grew up together at Barcelona, where they were in direct competition with each other - they're the same age and obviously both goalkeepers - and yet apparently managed to stay friends. (eventually Victor won out, and he was promoted to the first team while Pepe was released to join another club, though that's only relevant if you want it to be.) I would be very interested in fic about them together, as teenagers or in the present or anywhere in between! Pepe is very friendly and outgoing, while Victor has trouble trusting people, but is incredibly loyal to the few friends he has. I think the differences between them could make for a very cool story. (if Andres Iniesta - who is very sweet-natured and universally adored, but also Victor's best friend, and I wouldn't be surprised, given how few friends Victor has, if he was very possessive about that - can feature somehow, I will love you forever!)

Comments

[luxover.livejournal.com]

hey yo, you little drama queen, we still want you. we're just tryna figure our shit out.

moving on, PARIS JE T'AIME IS SO CUTE I LITERALLY CANNOT. I JUST CANNOT. WHAT I CANNOT, I DO NOT KNOW, BUT I CANNOT. I WANT MORE OF THE GASPARD ULLIEL ONE, AHHHHH SO CUTE.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

you know me, such a dramallama XD but my Alcantara prompt was derailed so swiftly and so completely, and that I cannot forgive. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. ;_; why must I be too busy to put together an Alcantaras post right now, I am so inspired. COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE (INCESTUOUS) JAILBAIT.

I knowwwww! such a cute movie! (I actually would also like a continuation of the Maggie Gyllenhaal bit, but I don't want kink. I just want fluff where her drug dealer hauls her to rehab and she gets clean and realizes he is ~the one and they live happily ever after in a land free of cocaine. why oh why must things be realistic and sad.)

[luxover.livejournal.com]

THAT ONE WAS SO SAD. OH MY GOD, SO SAD. i would deffo like that, too, but it has to be fluffy and happy-making, haha

[distira.livejournal.com]

comment jacking because BONJOUR GASPARD ULLIEL JE T'AIME

[luxover.livejournal.com]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh i knowwwwwwwwwwwww. he's so wonderful. espesh in that movie. how he kept trying to impress that kid!! love it

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

Silva accidentally reveals the fact that he's totally a scheming mastermind with huge ambitions underneath the sweet facade to Mario and then ends up with Mario following him around like an oversized puppy because he's so desperately in love with Silva's bitchiness

I know it is a HUGE SURPRISE that I would read this.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha ngl this might be my next cornerflag. depending on the theme, I guess. but Man City needs to represent!

[acchikocchi.livejournal.com]

yesssssssssssssss.

[nahco3.livejournal.com]

just chiming in that also (surprise surprise) I am ten kinds of in love with that Silva prompt.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

bitchy Silvaaaaaa I wants it precious! :D

[louis-quatorze.livejournal.com]

hahahaha, Mario would.

so uh, this can't be all that surprising coming from me, but. Back in 2008 it was a well-known fact that Philipp Lahm was going to join Barcelona in the summer. Which never happened, obviously, because Uli Hoeness has some kind of mind-control machine and Bayern players he wants to keep never leave. But what if? Basically, I just want to see him and Xavi attempting to passive-agressively one-up each other in the "tiny slightly bitchy people with big ambitions" stakes. (I have this image of them sitting on a couch, watching a football game with a beer or whatever, and trying to point out issues in the game before the other one does.)

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

trufax, I spent a minute staring at your comment wondering "how did Mario Gomez get into this?" haha oh self, sleep deprivation is not a good look on you...

omggggg tiny football dictators unite! I will treasure this mental image forever. oh god I am trying to imagine Lahm in our back line. Puyi would have been even more surrounded by midgets.

[louis-quatorze.livejournal.com]

hahahaha. I am predictable, yes.

I know, right? He would have been so hilarious with all the other midgets. And been all about the Serious Business. And he'd have had a Barça cartoon with giant eyebrows! He's in too deep with Bayern now, but if that had happened...

[aramley.livejournal.com]

Rafa/Nole fic in which they are footballers! Rafa is the home-grown captain of his team, Nole is the new star transfer. Rafa has to either help him settle in or show him who's boss. or both! possibly up against a locker
WANT. Seriously, though, all the tennis players played football, two thirds of the writers in tennis are football fans, WHERE IS THIS FANDOM'S EPIC FOOTBALL AU?

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

I know right ;_; it would be so great. clearly Tio Toni would be the coach. contrary to popular expectations I think Rafa would be a great goalie in AU land! that epic focus would come in handy. and of course Novak knows how to score~ XD

(Ferru is the perpetually underrated midfielder who keeps the team running can you see my favoritism showing)

[aramley.livejournal.com]

I have a hard time imagining Rafa being able to stay out of the thick of the action, but I defer to your knowledge! Nole always knows how to score~ har har har XD I bet Nole was always really obnoxious when they played on opposite teams. BUT THAT'S JUST HOW HE FLIRTS.

On the subject of Rafa and goalkeepers, though, is there Rafa/Iker fic anywhere on the internets? I see pictures of them together and I'm like, those are two great tastes that probably taste even better together. It's not even stretching! They do things together! Post-World Cup victory sex?

[the-curlyone.livejournal.com]

I would also be okay with non-porn that was more Zlatan, like, following Leo around and getting things down from high shelves for him. in a sort of dickish way, because Zlatan can't just be nice about things.

I have visions of Zlatan lifting his team mates up to reach high shelves- kinda like you'd do with children- against their will.

Sorry about the anon-meme thing, seems a bit harsh to put it mildly

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha omg, you know all the pictures and youtube clips of Zlatan carting his kids around? only with Leo. or Xavi. "WHAT? you wanted to get it down! so I'm picking you up so you can reach! chrissakes, Max never fusses like this, what are you, less mature than a four-year-old?" XDD

eh, it's okay, best to just let it go. (except for how nobody will be converted to the Alcantara brothers that way. must redouble my efforts!)

[the-curlyone.livejournal.com]

Haha, he would put them on his shoulders and do pirate impressions!

must redouble my efforts! No you must re-treble your efforts! Sorry I'm the worst kind of enabler :D

[distira.livejournal.com]

just popping in to say that i liked your prompt with html et al and i wish that such things could be done anon but in lieu of that i'd rather have people de-anon than scroll past prompts full of messy converted non-html.

...this is probably a line i should drop over at the meme, huh.

also, that nola/rafa fic. yeah. i want.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

idek what's going to happen over there but in all honestly if people are that butt-hurt over the possibility that someone might get more fic because they're ~popular or whatever (I find it ironic that this got kicked off because of me, though, ngl) I'm staying out of it. at least until I get bored enough to see where the wank has gotten in my absence! I think if we could just have a poll and go with the majority that would make the most sense but since the mod has ~opinions I doubt it'll happen. meh. it's a silly thing to get worked up about on either side, so there you have it.

omg I knowwwww why is there not a football AU yet. so much potential for amazingness!

[distira.livejournal.com]

someone suggested a poll, yes? i only read the threads through once and i'm sure they've grown since then, but.

i'm actually really surprised there isn't one? especially since rafa's such an obvious fangirl, i would've guessed there would've been one floating around

ok I'm back

[louis-quatorze.livejournal.com]

Manuel Neuer/Raul. How has this not happened yet? Crossing the fangirl streams!

Re: ok I'm back

[mardia.livejournal.com]

Wait, this HASN'T happened yet? Dear Lord, how has nobody gotten on this?

Re: ok I'm back

[louis-quatorze.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, RIGHT? It just seems obvious. I mean, they're there, and on the same team, and Manu is the baby captain of the legend, and they can have shared experiences with being the symbol of their respective team...c'mon now.