september recs, day twenty-one: gally squared (plus or minus prusty)

I was whining on twitter about how all I wanted to do was read jailbait Chekov/Sulu fic all night and somehow this ended up in a conversation about how @bophew had never read any AGally/BGally fic??? AN UNACCEPTABLE SITUATION, I think you will all agree. So here, have lots of jailbait Gallys! Sometimes with Prusty for bonus defilement purposes! (I already recced the one where BGally is a girl and Prusty teaches AGally how to give better orgasms for genderswap day but if you missed it somehow you should rectify that.)

Lucky Pierre, by hapakitsune
Basically nothing to me will ever top the succinct hilarity of the summary, which I quote in full:

"Complicated like you have two underage boyfriends?" asks Brian.

"They're both over eighteen," hisses Brandon.

It's not quite as cracky as that would lead you to believe (I actually feel a lot for Alex, it sucks to be the one left out when your friends are hooking up) but it's still pretty damn funny! And Brandon's paranoia that someone on the team is going to find out he defiled the rookie is really excellent for me.

I don't know about me but I know about you, by duchessofavalon
AGally's friendship with Nail is adorable. This is all.

Odd Man Rush, by hanet
BGally's intrinsic sluttiness draws AGally into his somewhat ambiguous relationship with Prusty, giving Prusty a sexual identity crisis in the process. Also there's a lot -- a lot -- of porn.

i said if i'm honest, i fell for you that last night, by mistfarer
This list needed at least one straightforward story about dumb children in love. God. They're so DUMB and so IN LOVE I almost can't stand it like this is Hallsy and Ebs level here.

(Getting Off) the Training Wheels, by sabrina_il
I.e. the one where Prusty teaches the Gallys how to have better sex with each other. A lot of it is so clinical that it shouldn't really be hot? And yet it is, and there's something so weirdly joyful about these two idiots finally getting to share orgasms the way they want to.

I've progressed to the hacking up a lung stage of my cold, which means I sound much worse but feel much better! I'm not even on Nyquil right now. YAY!!! YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME, NEW ENGLAND WEATHER.

in which kisa, distira and I all have a lot of feelings about Sidney Crosby

A break in your regularly scheduled recommendations! (Don't worry, September Recs will be up later tonight...) A few days ago I went trawling through my own timeline looking for gems to bring back before they're lost to the mists of time/twitter, and this really needed to be exposed to the light of day. Everybody please feel free to peer pressure justkisa RELENTLESSLY until she gives in and writes me the Sid/Mario/Nathalie fic of my dreams! :D?

( THE GUEST HOUSE IS A LIE )

( official draft photos of Sidney and Mario cause meretricula's head to explode, news at eleven )

God damn it I don't want to have to get a hockey icon. Someone save me from myself.

september recs, day twenty-two: recipes for kitchen incompetents!

Back when I did fics about food (incidentally I just found this Vikings fic and I am SO MAD that I discovered it too late to include in that post so uh yeah if you're into haute cuisine, restaurant AUs and banging threesomes I strongly advise you click that little link) I promised a post of recipes that even I, kitchen incompetent and super broke, can make and love, and lo and behold I have delivered!

crisp rosemary flatbread
So easy, so delicious, so cheap! It will make your life easier if you have baking paper and some sort of rolling pin but you can use a glass or your bare hands if you need to. I'm not a huge fan of rosemary so I usually use garlic instead, and chive works too!

baked apples
Even easier! I like to sprinkle on brown sugar and cinnamon before baking and then adding some maple syrup to the bowl when I eat it, but I've got a bigger sweet tooth than most people. This is a great way to use up apples that are a little bruised or mushy or are even starting to rot -- just cut off the gross parts when you're chopping up the apples.

millionaire's shortbread
This one can be a little bit tricky but I promise it's worth it! Once you get the hang of lining your pan with baking paper, it will save you so much energy on cleanup, you don't even know. Definitely melt the chocolate and make the caramel in the microwave, life is too short for double-boilers. If you have an electric egg beater or similar tiny self-whisking device, that will make combining the melted butter and condensed milk for the caramel much less labor-intensive. The layer of caramel takes for-e-ver to set, so plan to leave it in the freezer overnight, pour on the layer of melted chocolate in the morning, and stick it back in the freezer to get the chocolate to solidify until whatever afternoon or evening festivities you're bringing this British delight to! Share the wealth with all your friends, and DO NOT EVER tell anyone how much butter goes into the recipe.

cream scones
I'm going to make your life so much easier with this handy little trick: forget everything about rolling out, cutting, whatever. Mix up the dough and slap it into a muffin tin to bake. Your scones will come out circular and scone-like and perfectly attractive, and you don't need to tell anyone how they got that way.

avocado mac and cheese
Probably the most expensive recipe on here, because you do have to buy avocados and decent cheese (I like to use extra sharp cheddar, not Monterey Jack), but it's so worth it. If you don't eat it all immediately it'll turn brown, but any leftovers will still taste fine the next day, they'll just look pretty gross. If you care about that (I don't! Your stomach doesn't have eyes, as my grandmother says), just make sure you've got a couple friends over to help you consume the whole pot.