meretricula | apparently depression makes me productive

my life sucks, so i made brownies and wrote more slash! hurrah, I am at least not a useless sack of angst.

Yet more 30 Kisses. Who knows, maybe I'll actually finish it one of these days.

"Oh, Erestor," Glorfindel sing-songed cheerfully, poking his head into Erestor's office to peer at the harassed advisor. "I'm back from Lothlorien! Did you miss me?"

Erestor gritted his teeth and did his best to ignore the blond menace.

"Of course you did!" Glorfindel answered his own question, waltzing in without a care in the world. "And - let me see. I might have brought you a present."

"I don't want anything your filthy paws have touched," Erestor snarled, glaring at the parchment in front of him fit to burn a hole in the paper.

"Hmm? Not even... trade agreements?" Glorfindel waggled a slightly crumpled scroll, bound with a bedraggled red ribbon. Erestor's head snapped up.

"I told Celeborn not to let you have that!"

"Well, he gave it to Lindir," Glorfindel admitted good-naturedly. "But then Lindir gave it to me, since I said I would drop by to see you. So you don't want this, now that my 'filthy paws' have defiled it?"

"Give. Me. The. Scroll," Erestor hissed, his face going crimson with fury. "NOW."

"Well, I wouldn't be much of a negotiator if I let you have it for nothing, would I?" Glorfindel mused. "We need an even trade. I don't need the scroll, but you do. I should get something I want, that's of no use to you. Such a dilemma..."

Erestor, no longer listening, made a lunge for the scroll. Glorfindel immediately held it out of his reach. "Ah, ah, ah, Counselor. No grabbing. And I have it!"

Erestor stared warily up at him. "What?"

"A kiss! Valar know you aren't giving them to anyone else."

As Erestor gaped at Glorfindel in a combination of shock and fury, the blond elf leaned down, sealed his mouth briefly over Erestor's, and dropped the scroll into his nerveless hands. "There you go. A satisfactory deal on all sides, wouldn't you say?"

He had turned to go when Erestor caught his breath and began screaming in outrage. "I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WOULD CURL UP IN A GUTTER AND DIE, YOU - YOU - YOU'RE OBNOXIOUS AND STUPID AND YOUR EYES ARE TOO VALAR-CURST BLUE!!!"

Glorfindel stopped, blinked, and turned around. "Wait, what?"

"Well, they are," Erestor said defensively. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked slightly confused. "They are! They're idiotically blue! That color doesn't exist in nature!"

"Have you spent a great deal of time contemplating the color of my eyes, then, Counselor?" Glorfindel asked slowly.

"Oh, just get out!" Erestor snapped angrily. It was not, Glorfindel noted, an answer to his question.

/He likes me,/ Glorfindel thought to himself as he wandered down the hall, nursing yet another sore cheek from the slap Erestor had delivered when he refused to exit swiftly enough to suit him. Disturbingly merrily, he began to whistle.

I bet Glorfindel used to pull little elf-girls' pigtails and push them around the sandbox. or, you know, the elvish equivalent of a sandbox.