yuletide yuletide yuletide!

[meretricula]

let us ignore the moronic wank and focus on the joyous fact that FOOTBALL RPF IS OFFICIALLY ELIGIBLE. oh god I don't even know what to ask for. I mean, Zlatan and Maxwell, bros 4 lyfe? bb Silva settling in at Man City, getting babied by Carlos Tevez? Zlatan + Barcelona midgets in happier times, generally goofing off and being ridiculous? Patrice Evra, Park Ji-Sung and Carlos Tevez bonding despite linguistic difficulties at ManUtd? an actual Goldilocks and the Three Bears AU with Fernando Torres as Goldilocks (come on, it's so apt) and Pepe, DVilla and Fernando Llorente as Papa, Mama and Baby Bear? BARCELONA BABY DREAM TEAM? Xavi and Iniesta, footballing soulmates? Barça Lolita slutting it up with lots of older men? David Villa visiting Pepe in Liverpool for New Year's (THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED OMG I JUST READ AN INTERVIEW WITH DAVID AND HE TALKED ABOUT IT BROTP 4EVER)? Victor, Pepe and Miniesta in the academy years, complete with Pepe's snoring keeping everybody up at night (THIS ALSO ACTUALLY HAPPENED GOD I LOVE MY FANDOM)? Pep and Figo somehow get a happy ending? Barcelona locker room shenanigans? TOO MANY OPTIONS.

seriously kicking myself for not thinking to nominate RPF - Spanish athletes. could have asked for the Spanish NT gangbanging Rafa after the World Cup. come on, I can't be the only one who wants it. XD

also? Questionable Content is on the list. the Tequila Monster is one of the characters. this could be good.

I don't even know what to offer. IS IT YULETIDE YET?

ETA: can't believe I didn't remember this before posting. THE BARÇA LOLITA FINALLY SCORED!!! (hahaha at the fact that Leo apparently pouted at Pep until Pep agreed to let him play. and then gave Bojan that goal. it was totally a gift, let's not kid ourselves, but hopefully he'll feel more confident and start kicking ass the way we know he can!)

Comments

[mardia.livejournal.com]

OH, and I forgot to say, I'm probably not going to request football rpf for Yuletide this year, but if I WAS, I'd end up asking for something ridiculous, like fic about Stevie G being totally obsessed with Nando's ass. (In his defense, it is pretty damn glorious--somebody on ontd_football, during the Chelsea match last weekend, was ranting about John Terry getting distracted by Nando's "bubble ass" and that's why the tackle, etc, happened. Which is as good an explanation as any, and far more hilarious than the other ones.) Either that or Iker/Cesc AUs that are either teacher/student or businessman/young intern--basically anything that gets me desk sex.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha oh man. EVERYBODY is obsessed with Nando's ass. damn, it's like two halves of a cantaloupe. XD (I assume you have read the fic where Nando is spying on Stevie and Xabi in the shower and overhears Xabi talking dirty about Stevie's obsession with Fernando. ahhhhh fandom I love that I can rely on you to write ALL THE FICS.)

in the post-match interview Pep was like, "yeah, I didn't even want Leo to come, but he REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to play, so... \o/" oh Leo you are actually twelve. I love it. but really, anything that makes the Barça Lolita happy is good. and Victor's smile was soooooo cute! awww.

[mardia.livejournal.com]

I have and I LOVED it--and God, someone please explain to me how there are no good Stevie/Fernando fics? Please, because wow, I do not get that. (And if there are, for god's sake, GIMME LINKS.)

Heeee, oh Leo.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

I know, sigh. I think it's because nobody wants to ~betray Stevie/Xabi and Fernando/Sergio. but this is bullshit. Fernando and Stevie have the most outrageous mutual crush on each other. PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH. (there's just that and the one other by the same author, as far as I know. everywhere else it's always Fernando the man-stealing whore trying to lure Stevie away from Xabi. booooooo.)

[mardia.livejournal.com]

....

...yeah, no, this situation needs to be fixed post-haste. I mean, I'm sure the fact that I came into footie fandom post-WC and long after Xabi left for RM has something to do with it, but come on, they are ADORABLE and there is actually the potential for writing fic with them that does not end in heartbreak and tears! HOW IS THIS BAD. (I know I am biased in my WAG love, but there's also the potential for Alex and Olalla bonding over their husbands' ridiculous crushes on each other.)

And what what WHAT is this about Fernando only being written as the man-stealing whore? WHY? HAVE YOU SEEN HIS SMILE? A KITTEN IS BORN EVERY TIME THAT DUDE EITHER SCORES A GOAL OR SMILES, AND TWO KITTENS ARE BORN WHEN HE DOES BOTH.

Uh, apparently I have thoughts on this.

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

can you keep a secret? I don't even like Stevie/Xabi all that much. I think it's because I'm, um, not really all that attached to Xabi. like, he seems nice and classy and he has a cute family! but the whole mad passionate pining that's lasted two years now, idgi. (but then I think the vast majority of fandom would think my taste is weird anyway. since I would take Xavi over Iker, Cesc and both Sergios ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.) but oh man, Fernando and Stevie! they're so adorable! and there are still goal celebrations to watch, and oh oh oh when Fernando said he wanted to play against England in the WC final so either he or Stevie would get to win the World Cup. MY HEART. (and Alex and Olalla! there is no bad here!)

it's because he's blond and gorgeous, and people are jealous. ~decisive nod~ I also hate that he always gets written as the bastard who upped and left Sergio or manipulates Sergio with his ~sex appeal or whatever. HE'S A SWEETHEART, LEAVE MY FRECKLED PRINCESS ALONE.

[mardia.livejournal.com]

HEEEE, I will TOTALLY keep your secret. (I...am not all that into Stevie/Xabi myself, so I totally feel you there. I mean, I *like* Xabi, but the whole pining and longing with a side of adultery is...not my cup of tea, to put it mildly. And my liking for Alex Curran--or at the very least, my refusal to accept her as the shrew fandom loves to paint her as--means that like, 97% of the Stevie/Xabi fics out there really do not work for me.)

Okay, I don't read that many Sergio/Fernando fics, but...really? That's Fernando's role? COME ON. HE IS AN AWESOME FRECKLED SWEETHEART OF A PRINCESS.

got my rantypants on, sorry

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

you know, I get so mad sometimes that fandom thinks it's okay to hate Alex because she's... what, exactly? married to Steven, apparently not all that interested in football, into shopping, probably a little materialistic, blond? she doesn't have to be perfect, hell, she doesn't even have to be great: she's a REAL PERSON. she's a real WOMAN. she can have flaws without being evil. (I just want to wave a bonnetful of bee (http://community.livejournal.com/applefic/1502.html) in people's faces until they understand this.) but I do realize I'm preaching to the choir here. XD

~headdesk~ I don't even know. I read it and then I ask myself why because it's not like I don't realize what the characterization is going to be like. Sergio pines after Fernando who is a bastard because (a) he left Madrid for Liverpool (b) he got married and had a kid (c) he's straight and doesn't realize the effect he has on Sergio (d) he's NOT straight but doesn't want to commit to Sergio because he thinks Sergio is a slut (e) he's not straight but doesn't want to commit to Sergio because he has internalized homophobia (f) he's not straight but doesn't want to commit to Sergio because he has commitment issues or (g) some combination of the above. it's kind of annoying because I honestly just can't see Fernando being that much of a bastard or that much of a wishy-washy pussy, and also because um I don't think fandom has realized this but I don't think Fernando is honestly all that into Sergio. like, that ship sailed YEARS ago if it was ever in port at all. he is happy at Liverpool chilling with Pepe and Stevie.

(though this is probably also influenced by my general frustration that fandom insists on obsessing over pretty people with no real chemistry when I can point to people on my team and yell THEY HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR FOURTEEN YEARS SHIP THEM and no1curr, lol.)

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[mardia.livejournal.com]

Haha, do NOT apologize, I could go on about this subject for AGES. I fully admit that my liking for Alex is at least a little bit a reaction against the dislike that fandom as a whole seems to have for her, but the determination to constantly write Alex as this bitch-on-wheels who's wrecking the pure and true love of Stevie and Xabi is just ridiculous, c'mon. Even if you think she embodies every stereotype about WAGs, nobody is ever just a stereotype. (And actually, in all the stuff I've read about her, Alex has actually come across as quite sweet, and hello, Steven apparently likes her enough to marry her, so whatever fandom, y'all can just bite me on this one.)

Hah, okay, all those reasons you listed off can also bite me in the ass. That actually kind of touches on my biggest peeve, which is--okay, I LOVE pining fic. I do. But there's a way to write it so that the person who is pining doesn't come off as a martyr, like, you have CHOICES, okay, and maybe all those choices suck, but they are there. And for real, Fernando as the villain? For...making a good career move? For marrying his childhood sweetheart and starting an adorable family? C'mon now. Like, I know I am still a newbie, but it kind of astounds me that nobody yet seems to have written Pepe/Nando. (They're next-door neighbors. Pepe Reina is awesomesauce. HELLO PEOPLE.) God, at the rate things are going, I am basically going to have to request football rpf for Yuletide JUST so I can get some decent Stevie/Nando fic w/o any bashing of the WAGs. (Or if I'm feeling really ridiculous, fic about Theo Walcott hero-worshipping Cesc Fabregas and Cesc being kind of amazed since it wasn't that long ago that he was hero-worshipping Xavi and Puyol and Pep back at Barcelona. And possibly there are makeouts, IDK.

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

yeah, pretty much. the rage against Mesut Ozil's gf (they have since broken up) was even worse, and I just. argh. I don't know this woman! you don't know this woman! but can we please not just assume she is a hell-sent bitch! (corollary: can we also please not assume that she is some heaven-sent beard who is totally okay with being cheated on because her husband is ~in love with one of his teammates. I'm sorry. cheating on your wife is a dick move and if I were her I wouldn't give a shit about the gender of the other party. nobody is that nice. Alex in this fic (http://dorkorific.livejournal.com/79386.html) gives me hope for the future.)

the lack of Pepe Reina fic is a CRIME. (though haha you know me basically I think that he and David Villa have a platonic marriage and have decided to make Fernando Llorente their lovechild. but uh porny Goldilocks and the Three Bears story with them and Torres? I wasn't kidding about that, yes plz so very much.) mmm Pepe helping Fernando ~settle in at Liverpool. just making sure he feels at home, you know. XD looooool you know I'm going to try to enable you on football fic! I am the wrong person to go to if you don't want to be enabled! DO IT.

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[mardia.livejournal.com]

Cheating on your wife is totally a dick move. Which is probably why, in every story I've started, Steven and Alex have an open marriage (not to mention, Alex actually gets lines in the fic) but it's not like, "Oh, I'm totally cool with our marriage being a sham and lie!"

How, how, HOW is there not more Pepe Reina fic? Heee, somebody has got to write--oh no. The last time I said this (when I was talking about Stevie/Nando) I ended up starting a fic on that very subject. No, seriously. Godddd, cannot believe I'm writing footie fic. (But Pepe and Fernando would be adorable together!)

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

loooooool see above comment re: my tendency to enable terrible decisions. WRITE IT. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TOOOOOOOOOO. :D

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[louis-quatorze.livejournal.com]

(Not that this justifies anything whatsoever, but there were some pretty nasty rumors about Alex cheating on Steven several years ago.)

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

I do know that, but that's exactly the kind of thing that irritates me about this fandom - Alex cheating on Steven, even if she did it, does not relegate her to OMG EVIL VILLAINESS FOREVER. real people fuck up! I'd be a lot more interested in someone exploring what would make a woman married to Steven Gerrard so unhappy in her marriage that she would feel motivated to cheat on him (and I can imagine a lot of reasons, to be honest - being a footballer's wife sounds lonely as hell) than all these back-biting references to it as justification for having Steven cheat on her, or divorce her so he can shack up with Xabi. you know what I mean?

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[louis-quatorze.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I am 100% with you. I just don't know how much backstory you know, but I guess I should assume you know everything. :D

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

lolololol no never assume I know things! I soak up knowledge like a sponge, but only when it's there to be absorbed! XDDD

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[louis-quatorze.livejournal.com]

I just feel dumb saying something, and then you know it already! oh well.

Re: got my rantypants on, sorry

[meretricula.livejournal.com]

haha well phrase it as a discussion topic instead then. if I know it already and you know it already we are halfway to having a conversation about it!