the fandom librarian

Back when I did fics about food (incidentally I just found this Vikings fic and I am SO MAD that I discovered it too late to include in that post so uh yeah if you're into haute cuisine, restaurant AUs and banging threesomes I strongly advise you click that little link) I promised a post of recipes that even I, kitchen incompetent and super broke, can make and love, and lo and behold I have delivered!

crisp rosemary flatbread
So easy, so delicious, so cheap! It will make your life easier if you have baking paper and some sort of rolling pin but you can use a glass or your bare hands if you need to. I'm not a huge fan of rosemary so I usually use garlic instead, and chive works too!

baked apples
Even easier! I like to sprinkle on brown sugar and cinnamon before baking and then adding some maple syrup to the bowl when I eat it, but I've got a bigger sweet tooth than most people. This is a great way to use up apples that are a little bruised or mushy or are even starting to rot -- just cut off the gross parts when you're chopping up the apples.

millionaire's shortbread
This one can be a little bit tricky but I promise it's worth it! Once you get the hang of lining your pan with baking paper, it will save you so much energy on cleanup, you don't even know. Definitely melt the chocolate and make the caramel in the microwave, life is too short for double-boilers. If you have an electric egg beater or similar tiny self-whisking device, that will make combining the melted butter and condensed milk for the caramel much less labor-intensive. The layer of caramel takes for-e-ver to set, so plan to leave it in the freezer overnight, pour on the layer of melted chocolate in the morning, and stick it back in the freezer to get the chocolate to solidify until whatever afternoon or evening festivities you're bringing this British delight to! Share the wealth with all your friends, and DO NOT EVER tell anyone how much butter goes into the recipe.

cream scones
I'm going to make your life so much easier with this handy little trick: forget everything about rolling out, cutting, whatever. Mix up the dough and slap it into a muffin tin to bake. Your scones will come out circular and scone-like and perfectly attractive, and you don't need to tell anyone how they got that way.

avocado mac and cheese
Probably the most expensive recipe on here, because you do have to buy avocados and decent cheese (I like to use extra sharp cheddar, not Monterey Jack), but it's so worth it. If you don't eat it all immediately it'll turn brown, but any leftovers will still taste fine the next day, they'll just look pretty gross. If you care about that (I don't! Your stomach doesn't have eyes, as my grandmother says), just make sure you've got a couple friends over to help you consume the whole pot.

I was whining on twitter about how all I wanted to do was read jailbait Chekov/Sulu fic all night and somehow this ended up in a conversation about how @bophew had never read any AGally/BGally fic??? AN UNACCEPTABLE SITUATION, I think you will all agree. So here, have lots of jailbait Gallys! Sometimes with Prusty for bonus defilement purposes! (I already recced the one where BGally is a girl and Prusty teaches AGally how to give better orgasms for genderswap day but if you missed it somehow you should rectify that.)

Lucky Pierre, by hapakitsune
Basically nothing to me will ever top the succinct hilarity of the summary, which I quote in full:

"Complicated like you have two underage boyfriends?" asks Brian.

"They're both over eighteen," hisses Brandon.

It's not quite as cracky as that would lead you to believe (I actually feel a lot for Alex, it sucks to be the one left out when your friends are hooking up) but it's still pretty damn funny! And Brandon's paranoia that someone on the team is going to find out he defiled the rookie is really excellent for me.

I don't know about me but I know about you, by duchessofavalon
AGally's friendship with Nail is adorable. This is all.

Odd Man Rush, by hanet
BGally's intrinsic sluttiness draws AGally into his somewhat ambiguous relationship with Prusty, giving Prusty a sexual identity crisis in the process. Also there's a lot -- a lot -- of porn.

i said if i'm honest, i fell for you that last night, by mistfarer
This list needed at least one straightforward story about dumb children in love. God. They're so DUMB and so IN LOVE I almost can't stand it like this is Hallsy and Ebs level here.

(Getting Off) the Training Wheels, by sabrina_il
I.e. the one where Prusty teaches the Gallys how to have better sex with each other. A lot of it is so clinical that it shouldn't really be hot? And yet it is, and there's something so weirdly joyful about these two idiots finally getting to share orgasms the way they want to.

I've progressed to the hacking up a lung stage of my cold, which means I sound much worse but feel much better! I'm not even on Nyquil right now. YAY!!! YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME, NEW ENGLAND WEATHER.

Still sick. :( All fics are OT3, i.e. Neal/Peter/Elizabeth, because that is the only acceptable ship in White Collar fandom and if you ship Neal/Peter without including Elizabeth in some way I will shank you!!! Or probably just yell for a while about how Elizabeth is the greatest, whatever.

Always Starts the Same, with a Boy and a Girl, by lightgetsin
Four Meals, by copperbadge
Both Sides Of The Conversation, by OnYourMark
Separately and Together, by china_shop
Light-Fingered, by shrift

Pray for my soul and that I feel better in the morning, I hate being sick. D: D: D:

Apparently the one topic my older brother, my mother and I are completely united on is our admiration of the way Neal Caffrey wears a suit. Consider this my endorsement for White Collar: everybody should appreciate the way Neal Caffrey wears a suit. To that end, please enjoy some vids for that show about an FBI agent and his beautiful wife and the ridiculously attractive art thief they decide to bring into their marriage. I'm not even bothering to write out recommendations. They all feature Matt Bomer's beautiful face, and that is all the recommendation you should need. (Fic recs to follow tomorrow...)

Let's Misbehave, by trelkez
Everybody Loves Me, by LLenkaLL
in one ear, right out the other, by gigglemonster
Footloose, by china_shop
Tonight (I'm Fucking You), by talitha78

As always, if you have trouble accessing any vid I rec, let me know and I'll upload it for you!

thefourthvine suggested that I do a set of small fandom recs, but I'm terrible at judging what is or isn't qualified as a "small fandom", so I decided to let the experts sort it out for me and just picked from the Yuletide pool. I tried to get a wide selection, so they're not all from the same year -- one is from 2006, one is from 2012, the rest are somewhere in between!

Wait Wait Don't Eat Me, by nestra [National Public Radio RPF, Yuletide 2009]
Probably the most (in)famous Yuletide fic of all -- NPR got their hands on it somehow and linked it to the non-fannish masses. At least it wasn't knotting fic, amirite? No, seriously, I do think this is a perfect showcase of what Yuletide is best at: a loving homage to a source that a whole lot of people are familiar with but very, very few would ever contemplate writing fic for.

Gamol-léac, by Castiron [Old Spice Guy commericals, Yuletide Madness 2010]
The concept is great, but it's the execution that really makes it memorable. What a fantastic Beowulf pastiche.

a spring fling, by screamlet [Avengers RPF, Yuletide 2012]
Everything is ridiculous and yet it's not really a fluffy fic, if that makes sense -- the story is funny, but mostly because it's about perfectly ordinary events that the characters can't really deal with because they aren't used to functioning in the everyday world. (To wit: ScarJo, Chris Evans and Renner live together in collegiate-level filth and attend the birthday party Chris Hemsworth throws for his baby daughter.)

Duende, by astolat [Master and Commander, Yuletide 2006]
God, I tend to forget this story exists and then I remember and reread it and fall in love all over again. It's a very sweet love story, for Aubrey and Maturin at least, but it's the worldbuilding that gets me every time.

A Room With a View, by hollimichele [Temeraire, Yuletide 2009]
THIS STORY, GOD. Perscitia! Wellington! Roland! All the historical details that don't necessarily appear in the books, up to and including Wellington's poor wife! I love the Temeraire books with a fiery burning passion and I mean it as a great compliment when I say that this fic could perfectly well be an interlude written by Naomi herself.

HEY GUYS BY THE WAY DID YOU KNOW NOMINATIONS OPEN TOMORROW? YEAH. YOU SHOULD ALL GET ON THAT.

My parents started discussing politics at dinner so I started drinking a lot of wine so the recs are going to be short tonight. Possibly one-word if I can think of a way to pull that off.

I Want To Be Evil by lithiumdoll [various]
This vid is a m a z i n g. Seriously, I watch it over and over again and it never stops being fantastic. The artistic sense pulling together all the disparate sources -- especially in choosing the themes that keep coming back up, the clapping and the apple and Nimueh -- is extraordinary, which I can recognize even though I honestly don't know who half the "evil women" in the vid are.

The Evil Queen (Ms. Mills if You're Nasty) by foomatic [Once Upon a Time]
Henry has two moms, the end.

Chain Reaction, by kuwdora [Xena: Warrior Princess]
Callisto! I have to admit, I never realized the potential for hatesex in this show until this vid pointed it out. (Xena/Gabrielle OTP until the end of time, though. Actually no, Xena/me OTP until the end of time. Lucy Lawless more like Lucy Flawless amirite amirite.)

I Wanna Go, by Milly [Angelina Jolie films]
ANGELINA JOLIE. Such a cool idea for a vid! And it's really well done -- the moment when the music gets muffled right as Angelina goes into a tunnel gets me every time.

Without Me, by sisabet & drdawn [Angel]
I. Love. Lilah. Seriously, she was so evil and so HOT. The bit where she's marching out with her evil lawyer cohort at her back... let's just say this vid is pretty old, and I have had it for a very long time on my hard drive, and I still love watching her swagger like it's the first time I'm seeing it.

Again, if you have trouble accessing any of these vids, let me know and I'll upload them for you! I hoard them, because I know they can disappear from the internet with no warning at any time.

I loved this movie. I LOVED THIS MOVIE. Explosions! Giant robots! Idris Elba! Raleigh falling all over himself at how awesome Mako is! What is not to love, seriously. (Actually I hated the dudebro scientist, so, that. And obviously Chuck, but we were supposed to hate him, it barely counts. OTHERWISE.) SO GREAT. Have some fic!

those who run with wolves, by epistolic [Kaidonovskys]
One way Sasha and Aleksis meet: in the Jaeger program, and with a healthy dose of hostility. I LOVE THE RUSSIANS. Fandom has been so great about writing them backstory.

Heeding the Call, by marchingjaybird [Kaidonovskys]
Another way Sasha and Aleksis meet: in Moscow, before the kaiju attacks. Sasha is a boxer! Aleksis is a farmer's cuckoo child who wants to be an engineer! And they fall in love and it's beautiful and perfect yes more of this please.

Girls Night, by snack_size [Sasha and Mako]
Sasha teaches Mako about the pleasures of female rituals. I WILL READ A MILLION FICS ABOUT FEMALE FRIENDSHIP AND THIS IS SO GREAT.

Pacific Swim, by Pocket Aimee [gen ensemble]
The cartoon where nobody dies, they're just lost somewhere out to sea. COMRADE SQUID >>>> EVERYTHING.

Reconstruction Site, by disco_vendetta [Mako/Raleigh]
I read this before I even saw the movie, said "yes, perfect, OTP" and have yet to find anything that supplants its place in my heart. You guys, Raleigh loves Mako soooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuch.

I have a huge soft spot for Team Hot Dads but I haven't found any really good fic for them yet! If you've got suggestions, please let me know. ;)

recs soon, I promise! in the meantime, I wrote a thing??? it's been a while, I'm not sure how this goes anymore. but god, only a monster could watch that gif of Rafa nuzzling Novak's shoulder after whatever Novak whispered in his ear and not feel inspired. (I have watched that gif... an alarming number of times now.)

( 6-2, 3-6, 6-4, 6-1 )

I don't rec vids as much as I do fic, so a lot of you probably don't know that I am an obsessive fan of vidding. If you are in my physical vicinity and I have my laptop, iPad or phone I will sit you down and force you to watch vids with me for any fandom you show even the slightest interest in. I think vidding is such an amazing art form! And one thing that I think that vids can convey, maybe more artistically and definitely more succinctly than any other medium, is criticism of the source material. With that in mind, today's set of recs are all vids that talk back.

Women's Work, by sisabet and Luminosity [Supernatural]
One of the great classics of vidding, and much beloved (for good reason!) by academics who work on remix culture. I still remember when this vid came out; I was a very uncritical fan of Supernatural at the time, and watching Women's Work for the first time was definitely a wake-up call. Let's just say that I can't rewatch the early seasons of Supernatural anymore. (warning for a lot of violence against women)

…on the dancefloor, by sloanesomething [Star Trek Reboot]
I loved the first reboot movie to death, I saw it in theaters three or four times, but man, it was so shitty about women. And Into Darkness was even worse. This vid is a really eloquent summation of my feelings on the subject.

How Much Is That Geisha In The Window?, by lierdumoa [Firefly]
I genuinely had never even thought about racism in the context of Firefly until I watched this vid. You had better believe I think about it now. Every time I read the text at the end of the vid I start tearing up.

White America, by anonymous [Buffy, Veronica Mars, Supernatural]
A controversial selection! Nobody can really tell what this vid is trying to say -- or if it's trying to say any one thing at all. Is it about racism? Censorship? Is it criticizing the source material, or the fans for ignoring the flaws? I agree with some of the criticism of the vid in that it doesn't seem to have a single strong, coherent message, but at the same time, it's still a tremendously compelling piece of art. Watch it and see what you think it's trying to say! (warning for violence)

Bad Things, by niyalune [Teen Wolf]
Teen Wolf: a show in which teenagers are continually threatened, frightened, physically assaulted and sexually harassed by adults, many of whom are supposed to be trusted authority figures. It would be a great commentary on the rape culture our children are growing up in if I thought that the show runners were doing it on purpose; as it is, it's just incredibly creepy. (warning for violence)

I hope all the links are working, but if you have trouble accessing any of the vids, just let me know about I will upload a copy for you!

Flist, I write to you tonight having wined and dined to delicious excess at a very expensive restaurant, so what better topic for the day's recs could there be than food? (Also this was the only set I had finished already. Shhh.) Everybody loves food! It's a win-win.

Theft of Assets, Destruction of Property, by helenish (Harry Potter, Draco/Neville)
If you haven't read this fic already, I don't know what to tell you. It's probably my favorite of all time? I think it's become more meaningful now that I'm older and actually do cook a bit; I loved it the first time I read it, but I identify a lot more with Draco's character arc now and the way he finds independence for the first time in becoming essentially a housewife. Cooking and cleaning and other kinds of "women's work" get a bad rap, and I certainly wouldn't want that as a full-time job, but there really is something liberating about being able to do all those things, and it's a tremendous demonstration of love to do them for someone else.

Cupboard Love, by mklutz (Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek)
Another Teen Wolf fic that has been AU'd into acceptability, don't worry! The main plot is pretty standard romcom fare, but I really love the role that cooking plays in both Stiles' characterization (he cooks to feel close to his dead mother) and the story. And the descriptions of the food itself... don't read this fic while you're hungry, all I'm saying.

I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York) by gyzym (Inception, Arthur/Eames)
Yes, it's the AU where Eames runs a coffeeshop and Arthur is a miserable junior lawyer who stress-bakes! If, like me, you have an enormous sweet tooth, the descriptions of baked goods in this fic will be your downfall. I WANT TO EAT IT ALL.

savoy truffle, by hazel and ellievolia (Hockey RPF, Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews)
Ahahahaha Kaner is a secret baker, I have nothing, leave me to my shame.

Settling In, by nahco3 (Football RPF, Patrice Evra/Park Ji-Sung)
It only took me six days to weasel some footie into this project, nobody is surprised. :P This fic is a little different from the rest of the set because it's not about cooking per se, but food still plays an important role in the settling in (haha see what I did there? OH GOD I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP BEFORE I PUN AGAIN) of characters who have been displaced from their homes and are in the process of finding a new home in each other. (Oh lawd that sounds so pretentious. I'M SORRY, IT'S LATE.) Like, there's something really meaningful to me about sharing not just food but your food with another person. I don't know, I'm not very good at articulating this, it's related somehow to why learning to make latkes was so important to me and I make them for every friend I can even though they are the most horrifically messy food imaginable, tl;dr FOOD IS IMPORTANT, SHARE YOUR FOOD WITH YOUR LOVED ONES.

I LOVE FOOD, I don't know if you've noticed yet. Maybe at some point this month I'll do a rec post of delicious recipes that even a broke as fuq kitchen incompetent like me can manage! It's a thought.